What if prisons let prisoners take their own mug shots?
DAPHNE WHO THE FUCK U THINK U FOOLIN
Having a pet is so weird. Like neither of you speak each other’s language and yet you form some strong bond by rubbing against each other and sleeping together and you might accidentally kick them in the face or step on their tail once in a while but at the end of the day you two are best buddies from entirely different species.
A guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she’ll never find a boyfriend.
Beagle puppy barking for the first time. “I…don’t know how to express my feelings!”
YOU SHOULD SEE MY FREAKIGN FACE LIL PUPPY UR SO CUTE MLOVE MER
Why is it that evil villains always find poison to inject into their victims like just literally fill the syringe with air and just stick the needle between their toes or something. It’ll mimic a heart attack and the victim will die pretty quick and NO ONE WILL ASK MANY QUESTIONS BECAUSE IT’LL LOOK LIKE A HEART ATTACK
first of all how do you know this information i feel like the government doesnt want you to know that
i was looking up chicken noises to annoy my sister and now i can’t breathe
I STARTED PLAYING THIS IN THE CAR AND MY ENTIRE FAMILY TOLD ME TO “TURN IT OFF HAILEY” WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT
ITS 2 AM AND I AM DYING
this is literally what i’ve set up as my alarm for school
How can I teach my chickens to sing???
"I don’t like leslie knope"